I love the Bee Movie. It has so many awesome lessons on relationships, the environment, standing up for what's right, and unintended consequences.
We had the pleasure of watching it this evening and just being. (Pun intended!) I so often am running around the house taking care of little details or working on the computer that I forget to just sit down and be with my family.
As we were all snuggled up tonight I practiced savoring each moment of being together. Recognizing that these were magical moments together, all of us content and relaxed, enjoying a favorite movie and each other.
What was your last magical moment?
Friday, November 13, 2009
How to learn the rules of the game
Last year walking stick decided to buy himself a game of chess with his Christmas gift card. He didn't really know how to play, but set about learning through a variety of paths.
He read the rules that came with the game, though those are now long gone. Played games against his parents, who never really learned how as kids so weren't much help. Played against his little brother, which often ended in tears and arguments. Played Chess Lite on my iPhone, while waiting for swimming lessons, car repairs, and little brother's choir practice. Played endless hours of games against himself, my personal favorite. And found a few friends who would play chess at school or on play dates.
Now, eleven months later, he feels fairly proficient in his understanding of the basics of chess. He still tends to recite rules as he remembers them or, as we perceive, as they benefit him the most. Typical nine year old stuff. So when the arguments begin as he plays with his brother, he feels he is now the chess expert. What's a mom to do without the trusty rule book to employ?
I love Google! In less than a minute I've got a chess rules website with descriptions of what each piece can do, visual demonstrations, and information on a few special moves. End of argument! Next step is to teach them how to gently and compassionately remind each other of the rules. Thank goodness I'm a social worker and have years of practice at that! Teach, model, supervise, recognize, re-teach, and on we go...
He read the rules that came with the game, though those are now long gone. Played games against his parents, who never really learned how as kids so weren't much help. Played against his little brother, which often ended in tears and arguments. Played Chess Lite on my iPhone, while waiting for swimming lessons, car repairs, and little brother's choir practice. Played endless hours of games against himself, my personal favorite. And found a few friends who would play chess at school or on play dates.
Now, eleven months later, he feels fairly proficient in his understanding of the basics of chess. He still tends to recite rules as he remembers them or, as we perceive, as they benefit him the most. Typical nine year old stuff. So when the arguments begin as he plays with his brother, he feels he is now the chess expert. What's a mom to do without the trusty rule book to employ?
I love Google! In less than a minute I've got a chess rules website with descriptions of what each piece can do, visual demonstrations, and information on a few special moves. End of argument! Next step is to teach them how to gently and compassionately remind each other of the rules. Thank goodness I'm a social worker and have years of practice at that! Teach, model, supervise, recognize, re-teach, and on we go...
Infinite Possibilities
I look at my boys everyday and wonder what amazing things they will do as they grow older. Every day I see them learn and grow and change. The possibilities for what they will become are endless. As I glanced through The Parent's Tao Te Ching I came across this section:
At birth your children are filled with possibilities.
It is not your job to limit these possibilities.
Do not say, "This and that are possible for you.
These other things are not."
They will discover on their own what is and is not possible.
It is your job to help them stay open
to the marvelous mysteries of life.
It may be interesting to ask,
"What limitation have I, unthinking,
taken upon myself?"
It is very difficult for your child's horizons
to be greater than your own.
Do something today that pushes
against your own preconceptions.
Then take your child's hand
and gently encourage her to do the same.
How do you encourage your children to find their gifts and talents and be true to themselves?
At birth your children are filled with possibilities.
It is not your job to limit these possibilities.
Do not say, "This and that are possible for you.
These other things are not."
They will discover on their own what is and is not possible.
It is your job to help them stay open
to the marvelous mysteries of life.
It may be interesting to ask,
"What limitation have I, unthinking,
taken upon myself?"
It is very difficult for your child's horizons
to be greater than your own.
Do something today that pushes
against your own preconceptions.
Then take your child's hand
and gently encourage her to do the same.
How do you encourage your children to find their gifts and talents and be true to themselves?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Highs and Lows
Our meditation reading this week was, "Don't be swayed by external circumstances." Easy to say, not so easy to do.
There are so many things in our lives we cannot control and perhaps not even influence. We can be tossed about on a current of emotions if we let our center be guided be the whims of loved ones, strangers, or events across the world. On the other hand, we may appear cold-hearted if we don't respond at all to the joys and tragedies happening around us.
So how can we be responsive and keep our balance at the same time?
I remember reading an interview with the Dalai Lama. He was asked if he ever gets angry? His response was that of course he does. But rather than hold on to that anger, he said he lets it touch his heart lightly and lets it go. It is the same with every emotion and experience.
I try to practice this (emphasizing the word practice!) and to teach this to my children. As they struggle with peers, teachers, or circumstances beyond their control, it is a good lesson to keep your balance by finding your center. Experiencing and observing what arises without clinging to it. When we get swept away by the struggles or the successes in our lives, we can crash hard when things do not end up exactly as we thought they would. Things that seem positive can have unintended negative consequences. Things that seem negative may have a silver lining.
We can only be here in this moment as present as possible, observing, learning, experiencing, and moving on to the next.
Do you know where your center is? Do you know when you are grounded? How?
There are so many things in our lives we cannot control and perhaps not even influence. We can be tossed about on a current of emotions if we let our center be guided be the whims of loved ones, strangers, or events across the world. On the other hand, we may appear cold-hearted if we don't respond at all to the joys and tragedies happening around us.
So how can we be responsive and keep our balance at the same time?
I remember reading an interview with the Dalai Lama. He was asked if he ever gets angry? His response was that of course he does. But rather than hold on to that anger, he said he lets it touch his heart lightly and lets it go. It is the same with every emotion and experience.
I try to practice this (emphasizing the word practice!) and to teach this to my children. As they struggle with peers, teachers, or circumstances beyond their control, it is a good lesson to keep your balance by finding your center. Experiencing and observing what arises without clinging to it. When we get swept away by the struggles or the successes in our lives, we can crash hard when things do not end up exactly as we thought they would. Things that seem positive can have unintended negative consequences. Things that seem negative may have a silver lining.
We can only be here in this moment as present as possible, observing, learning, experiencing, and moving on to the next.
Do you know where your center is? Do you know when you are grounded? How?
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Yoga teachers in the making
We had so much fun at our family yoga class this week. I am definitely not the only yoga teacher in the family! My boys are naturals.
Walking Stick has been coming to my Saturday morning adult classes and taught tree pose nearly verbatim to how I teach it in class. He sounded like he been teaching it for years, giving all the variations and options for extensions.
Giggle Box's expertise was helping with alignment. He was able to see the slight postural changes that could help someone improve their pose or make the adjustment I had given verbally. He is not always able to feel that in himself, but could easily see it in others.
When they were younger I was often frustrated in our family yoga classes because they would want to take over and change the directions I was giving. Before we started this session, I talked with them about this frustration. Giggle Box told me that he thought he was the teacher of the class and that is why he was always trying to take over. Too bad I didn't get it sooner, but this time we planned for them to have some leadership and it made all the difference.
It was a good lesson for me to remember that I don't always have to be the director. I've got two fabulous leaders growing before my eyes and they have a lot to teach me as well.
Walking Stick has been coming to my Saturday morning adult classes and taught tree pose nearly verbatim to how I teach it in class. He sounded like he been teaching it for years, giving all the variations and options for extensions.
Giggle Box's expertise was helping with alignment. He was able to see the slight postural changes that could help someone improve their pose or make the adjustment I had given verbally. He is not always able to feel that in himself, but could easily see it in others.
When they were younger I was often frustrated in our family yoga classes because they would want to take over and change the directions I was giving. Before we started this session, I talked with them about this frustration. Giggle Box told me that he thought he was the teacher of the class and that is why he was always trying to take over. Too bad I didn't get it sooner, but this time we planned for them to have some leadership and it made all the difference.
It was a good lesson for me to remember that I don't always have to be the director. I've got two fabulous leaders growing before my eyes and they have a lot to teach me as well.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
By how many miles?
A sense of humor is a fabulous thing!
This evening as we drove home from hours of choir practice we were all a little slap happy. For tangential reasons I cannot recall at the moment we were trying to remember the last of the seven dwarfs. We racked our brains we began coming up with all sorts of goofy options. As we went on, the suggestions got closer and closer to that line of inappropriateness and I remarked, "You're getting close to crossing the line."
Walking Stick made one more suggestion and Giggle Box replied, "That definitely crossed the line." I agreed and then he said, "By how many miles?!!" We all burst out laughing at that little moment of literal wit.
I so enjoy laughing with my boys and finding the humor in the little things in life. When we can let go of the things we cling to, we can be present to find those moment when absurdity and humor lightens the load. Thank goodness they are here to help me with that!
What do your kids do that makes you laugh?
This evening as we drove home from hours of choir practice we were all a little slap happy. For tangential reasons I cannot recall at the moment we were trying to remember the last of the seven dwarfs. We racked our brains we began coming up with all sorts of goofy options. As we went on, the suggestions got closer and closer to that line of inappropriateness and I remarked, "You're getting close to crossing the line."
Walking Stick made one more suggestion and Giggle Box replied, "That definitely crossed the line." I agreed and then he said, "By how many miles?!!" We all burst out laughing at that little moment of literal wit.
I so enjoy laughing with my boys and finding the humor in the little things in life. When we can let go of the things we cling to, we can be present to find those moment when absurdity and humor lightens the load. Thank goodness they are here to help me with that!
What do your kids do that makes you laugh?
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Can we teach insight?
Insight is an amazing gift that allows us to reflect and move forward. As a mom I often find myself trying to give my children a different perspective that will bring them the insight they need. Sometimes I think I hit the mark and other times they have no idea what I am talking about. Then, a little glimmer appears and I think maybe I'm doing something right along the way.
This evening giggle box very unexpectedly walked up to me and said, "Mama, sometimes I overreact to walking stick." I was stunned. We've been working on these reactions for months. Talking about it, planning ahead, reflecting, role-playing...and nothing seemed to stick much. So this bit of out of the blue reflection gives me some hope that all this may be working after all.
It's a good reminder for me that we all have to get things in our own way at our own time. We can be told information over and over, but until we are ready to hear it we don't. Until it makes sense to us and is meaningful, we can't use it.
More lessons in patience for mama.
This evening giggle box very unexpectedly walked up to me and said, "Mama, sometimes I overreact to walking stick." I was stunned. We've been working on these reactions for months. Talking about it, planning ahead, reflecting, role-playing...and nothing seemed to stick much. So this bit of out of the blue reflection gives me some hope that all this may be working after all.
It's a good reminder for me that we all have to get things in our own way at our own time. We can be told information over and over, but until we are ready to hear it we don't. Until it makes sense to us and is meaningful, we can't use it.
More lessons in patience for mama.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)