tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52769361449800345022024-03-05T10:50:51.848-07:00Laughing Yoga MamaReflecting on the PRACTICE of parenting through the lens of yogic philosophy. Cultivating compassion and keeping my sense of humor while balancing the challenges of parenthood.Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.comBlogger72125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-20524830429541854242019-12-26T19:31:00.000-07:002019-12-27T15:37:54.304-07:00New Beginnings In October I reflected on the balance between letting go and holding on. In early December I learned that I was letting go of my yoga home of the past 14 years. That was a big and unexpected letting go. Over the years I have actively practiced letting go of my children as they approached new milestones or took on new independence. Now it’s time to put that into practice for myself.<br />
<br />
As with my boys' steps into independence, this letting go provides a moment of pause and unexpected time and space that I can now choose how to fill...or not. I have spent nearly every Saturday morning for the past decade sharing my love of yoga with the Harmony/Mudra community. It feels both strange and freeing to anticipate not teaching this coming Saturday.<br />
<br />
As I continue to explore what options are ahead, I am holding the space of gratitude for what was along with gratitude for what will be. I so appreciate the relationships and connections I have developed over the years. I have learned as much as I have taught and am a better person for having the opportunity to be present in the lives of my students. It seems fitting as we end this year and decade, moving into the clear vision of 2020, that this significant change is occurring.<br />
<br />
I'll be sleeping in a little later this Saturday morning and practicing my yoga at home. May we each be open to all the possibilities the new year brings.<br />
<br />
Namaste ~ Lisa<br />
<br />
<img height="133" src="webkit-fake-url://1022e355-02d4-4c98-a934-ed5f8cdf6cc3/imagejpeg" width="200" /><br />
<br />
*Watch Finding the Balance Within, LLC on Facebook for new offerings in yoga and energy healing.Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-88454894150469762752019-10-11T17:37:00.000-06:002019-10-11T17:37:27.938-06:00The Wisdom of Fall<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbpyPX7aYHg3B04SsPKnyt1JfqqEdL3z5LrxtiPBx0kOaEiDp7QgjmTnWKGamiJSnLliONl4cwdBOZViXKvTIAnAYa_VPZXrcRdJPNsPfMaKD7YEtlwvI9Ttjt05Sq0PsCzNHksDtK2r19/s1600/10E646BC-4579-4D21-A9E3-74045819FD52.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbpyPX7aYHg3B04SsPKnyt1JfqqEdL3z5LrxtiPBx0kOaEiDp7QgjmTnWKGamiJSnLliONl4cwdBOZViXKvTIAnAYa_VPZXrcRdJPNsPfMaKD7YEtlwvI9Ttjt05Sq0PsCzNHksDtK2r19/s200/10E646BC-4579-4D21-A9E3-74045819FD52.jpeg" width="200" /></a>Now that the weather is really beginning to feel like fall, I’ve begun to think about the balance of holding on and letting go again. Nature is such a good metaphor to help us reflect upon our own lives. As I watch my summer flowers and vegetable garden wither and fade, I often feel a clinging to summer and a sadness at the knowledge they will soon be dry, brittle remnants of summers glorious blooms. Then, I notice I’m grieving while the blooms are still present.<br />
I have a habit of that. Grieving what will be changing before it has. It often leads me to miss what is, right now, in this moment. Yoga helps me practice being present in the moment, noticing how my breath feels as I move and rest in various poses. Funny how I don’t cling to a breath the way I do to other things. Each breath just is and then it’s gone without judgement of good or bad. Each breath nourishes me and takes me into the next moment. It’s a good reminder of be grateful for this breath, this moment.<br />
Wishing things were not as they are is a very human trait that I am working to let go of this fall. Noticing and tuning into my breath, watching it come and go, is the practice.<br />
Namaste - Lisa<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-26086247215843396982019-09-21T20:46:00.000-06:002019-09-21T20:46:58.769-06:00It’s been a long hiatus in my blog writing and the universe has been whispering in my ear that it’s time to start writing again. I’m not yet sure what direction this will go, but I’m excited about the possibilities.<br />
Please feel free to browse through previous blogs while I find my footing. I look forward to reconnecting with you all. ❤️<br />
~Namaste<br />
Lisa<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVLb9W9O0xFsISmb_dnX5Qv_TtcuuT9STqBW_SVDv3fz3Lt3Dwb27GYy1LZWqOfQmiJJyIkXrmKmibgXz4DObA-bCWWSHa_QV6vr9Vm7Fv5EaGo18qo-QNUobAdpvK1zLyBL8G8jFr9zCc/s1600/A3C71722-A5C8-44A7-8323-42D2C9D0412C.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVLb9W9O0xFsISmb_dnX5Qv_TtcuuT9STqBW_SVDv3fz3Lt3Dwb27GYy1LZWqOfQmiJJyIkXrmKmibgXz4DObA-bCWWSHa_QV6vr9Vm7Fv5EaGo18qo-QNUobAdpvK1zLyBL8G8jFr9zCc/s320/A3C71722-A5C8-44A7-8323-42D2C9D0412C.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-71095030365329051162014-04-23T12:34:00.002-06:002014-04-23T12:54:45.757-06:00Letting go...again and again~Wrote this a while back and forgot to post it...may have been a bit of denial...read on. :) <br />
<br />
I frequently share my parenting philosophy of letting go with other moms. Talking about it helps me remember to practice it and I right now I really need to hone my practice.<br />
<br />
I am facing another big letting go. It's one I thought I was prepared for and doing well with, but has recently rattled me quite a bit more than I expected. <br />
<br />
Walkingstick has turned 14, somewhat daunting in itself, and will be going to high school in the fall. High School! We've been talking about this for a couple of years and quite a bit through the summer and fall. I have been very practical, discussing options, pros and cons, class offerings, etc. I asked about his worries and concerns, but realized recently that I have been conveniently avoiding my own.<br />
<br />
This week we went to a freshman showcase night and the following morning walkingstick made a decision on which school he definitely wanted to attend. In that moment I began to feel anxiety and fear rising up from my core in a completely unexpected way. "Wait, this is really happening!!" my inner voice said. "Will he be safe? What if someone is mean to him? Is this really the right place for him?" were the questions blazing through my head. The same questions, I realize, that I worried over when finding a day care, a preschool, a kindergarten, an elementary, and a middle school.<br />
<br />
Hmmmm...I think I see a pattern here. :)<br />
<br />
As I make this connection, I am realizing it is okay to feel anxious, that's my cue that this is a bigger and important kind of letting go. I also acknowledge that I have been here before and each time we have found the right place or made changes when things went awry. Walkingstick has learned many lessons through these experiences and has become a strong advocate for himself in school. He stands up to rude behavior from peers, communicates well with his teachers, is an active and interested learner, and I can trust him.<br />
<br />
That is what this boils down to...trust. Trusting that we have given and will continue to give him the supports he needs to be successful, that the school will provide what he needs, and that he will make good decisions. I won't put on blinders or rose colored glasses, which I have a tendency to do that at times as well. But will let go a little more, tune in a little closer, and try to be present in each moment as we take this next step in the adventure.<br />
<br />
Namaste Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-38173633881248669412013-08-22T14:50:00.000-06:002013-08-22T14:50:12.371-06:00Back to School Haiku<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Over the past few weeks as school has started, I have heard conversations, read blogs, and seen social media posts from countless parents talking about the transitions their children are experiencing and the impact for both parents and children. I offer this little haiku in support.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Marking each milestone</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Letting children go to grow</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The journey unfolds</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
May each little letting go bring the potential for more balance in your life and the opportunity for your child to shine a little brighter. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Namaste </div>
Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-37822251507407596362013-08-14T11:40:00.000-06:002013-08-14T11:42:58.450-06:00Parenting by Looking Inward FirstWrote this to a friend yesterday struggling with a particular behavior her daughter was exhibiting,<br />
<br />
"<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[2]">The
bottom line in parenting for me is if I want my kids to change their
behavior, I have to change mine. I try to figure out what can I do
differently to support the behavior I want to see more of."</span></span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[2]"><br /></span></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[2]">Thought I'd post it here to remind myself when I'm struggling that I can make a difference by looking inward and starting there.</span></span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[2]"><br /></span></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[4ae4d].[1][4][1]{comment595886850461818_596063497110820}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[2]">Namaste</span></span></span>Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-43298944533507972152012-12-22T08:00:00.000-07:002012-12-22T08:00:00.141-07:00Wisdom PracticeI'm so proud of family today. We all had the chance to completely lose our cool and each of us found the space and wisdom to do otherwise.<br />
<br />
Here's how it played out...<br />
I received a text from walkingstick this afternoon telling me that he just realized he left his computer at school...outside...in front of the school...in a laptop bag that looks like it holds a pricey little laptop. I texted back, "Seriously!!!Where is it?" Then dialed his number before he could reply. I felt my face flush with heat as he answered and took a deep breath before asking him what specifically had happened and where he thought he'd left it. Defensive whining and escalation began, but stopped abruptly with a calm reminder - not sure how that actually came out calm...more breathing.<br />
<br />
I realized I was thirty minutes away, he was at least twenty if the sitter took him back, but my husband might be about five minutes away if he was in his office. Walkingstick was not thrilled with the idea of getting Dad involved, but knew the situation called for all hands on deck. I rang the school first to see if someone could go out and check, but the phones had already been turned over to voicemail. Walkingstick was envisioning the grim reaper coming.<br />
<br />
I called my husband and interrupted a high level, relatively stressful meeting. Realizing this was about the worst timing ever, I decided I'd drop it and take the risk of heading over there myself. He insisted on me telling him what was going on since he'd already stepped out of the meeting. I told him and could practically hear the explosions going off in his head...the computer is only a month old.<br />
<br />
He left the meeting, headed to the school, and called me as he arrived. No computer bag in front of the school. The front door was locked, but a staff member saw him and let him in. No computer turned in at the front desk. He headed over to the after school care building...No computer bag there. I was sure his eyes were nearly popping out of his face and steam was coming out of his ears. I worked to keep a calm voice and think of alternatives for where it could be...more breathing...long and slow...sending all that calm energy to him. <br />
<br />
I called walkingstick to see what students and staff members were still outside as he was leaving. He told me he thinks he could have set it down in the parking lot when he opened the door to the sitter's car. Flames begin licking my ears. I breath more and call my husband back.<br />
<br />
We decided he'd go to the classroom to see if a teacher picked it up. He'd call me back. I was certain I could feel the vibrations of his shoes pounding down the tile hallway from across the city. I was back on the phone with walkingstick working other possible angles and keeping his anxiety down when my husband rang through.<br />
<br />
The computer was sitting beside walkingstick's desk...the whole time...he'd never even taken it outside!!! Dad was livid and I was saying...best possible scenario! Whew! He doesn't want to see or talk to walkingstick after all of that. Fortunately, he needs to return to his meeting which gives him some space.<br />
<br />
I called walkingstick to tell him the news. He was relieved and grateful, but terrified of what his consequences would be and of seeing his dad. He was sobbing into the phone, apologizing, and ...<br />
<br />
I arrived home to a somber house with heads hanging low and bloodshot eyes. I couldn't believe how calm I felt. I was so relieved we found it that I didn't really need to be upset. I talked with walkingstick about apologizing to his dad, showing gratitude for his help, and a plan to keep track of his computer a bit better.<br />
<br />
Distraction, time, and space were a blessing for all of us when my husband came home and said he realized that walkingstick had already said to himself all the things Dad would say, so he was letting it go. No lecture, no tears, just lessons learned ~ by all of us.<br />
<br />
<i>...I wrote this post months ago, but never got around to publishing it. Reading through it I'm amazed at our collective self-control and ability to keep things in perspective. It was, afterall, a missing computer, not a missing child. Wisdom!</i><br />
<br />
Namaste<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-69666190918122770052012-12-20T16:18:00.002-07:002013-09-10T19:56:03.008-06:00The Power of PerspectiveI am always amazed at how perspective can completely change an event or interaction. My boys retaught me this lesson again last night.<br />
<br />
We were searching around for a holiday movie to watch when we stumbled upon<i> The Polar Express</i>. This has always been one of our favorite holiday books to read, which I cannot complete without choking through tears on the last page. However, our thoughts on the movie had been just the opposite.<br />
<br />
The movie came out in 2004 when the boys were two and four. Loving the book we decided to see the movie on the big screen. Big mistake! The boys were terrified of all the suspense and danger and freaked out by the animation. Consequently, we wrote it off as a bad adaptation of a good book and went on our merry way.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to last night...at ten and twelve they absolutely loved it! The suspense was adventure and the animation didn't seem so creepy on the smaller screen. They were mesmerized by the entire movie and grinned ear to ear when it was over.<br />
<br />
They raved to their Dad about it and he was as surprised as I was given our recollection of the first viewing. I noted that it is a much more enjoyable movie to watch when you are not trying to calm two terrified tots.<br />
<br />
I'm so glad we gave the movie a second chance through a different lens and our new perspective is that it's a great movie to watch as a family with <i>older</i> children.<br />
<br />
Wishing you peace and love this holiday season!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Namaste <br />
<br />
<br />Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-7732703380929086752012-04-12T11:00:00.000-06:002013-09-10T19:59:18.259-06:00Breaking Hearts<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNkqnWhutA_oT8ljngxMgDCInv3G9HuUBzlWbzk-k18DTunK18ychCXn3VwZhNJs9VdUwZpAQMR5q55yKIY_BhIT_2QtvAHaJLx4waRsLbg0M5yNqAeRG_tAcCPEhPs0VhIf5KFo5sDoy8/s1600/heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNkqnWhutA_oT8ljngxMgDCInv3G9HuUBzlWbzk-k18DTunK18ychCXn3VwZhNJs9VdUwZpAQMR5q55yKIY_BhIT_2QtvAHaJLx4waRsLbg0M5yNqAeRG_tAcCPEhPs0VhIf5KFo5sDoy8/s1600/heart.jpg" /></a>When your own heart breaks it is excruciating, but watching your child's heart break is nearly unbearable.<br />
<br />
Difficult decisions that seem unfair and unreasonable on so many levels have brought us to the point of causing this heart break in our little one. In the end we believe he will be much happier and successful, but right now it just feels bleak and sad.<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/chodhound/2223942799/" target="_blank">(photo credit)</a><br />
<br />
I wish I had a magic wand to make it all different, but alas that magic escapes me...again.<br />
<br />
And now I'm reminded through my sister and my aunt of the wisdom to "wish that each moment happens exactly as it does." It is one of the most difficult things to do when their is pain and suffering involved. It is much easier when all is well. <br />
<br />
Allowing ourselves to be in the moments of pain and sorrow, to be with the ones we love in these moments without trying to fix it, smooth it over, make it better is so hard but so essential in our lives. It is the manifestation of the practice of lovingkindness and compassion...honoring all of who we are, all that life brings, and all that is possible...trusting that that the pain will end and through the darkness light will come if we can just be in the moment.<br />
<br />
My favorite Buddha quote jumped off the page at me as I opened my blog today and seems so needed through these difficulties - <span style="color: black; font-style: italic;">Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is an ancient and eternal truth.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">May lovingkindness fill your heart in each moment of each day. </span><br />
<span style="color: black;">Namaste - Lisa </span><i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>Post script</i>...I wrote this about six weeks ago, but couldn't bring myself to publish
it as it was all too raw. Things are still challenging, but the
light is beginning to shine through.Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-61888089050704735462012-01-01T22:33:00.000-07:002012-01-06T22:18:10.553-07:00Saying GoodbyeI've been rolling this post around in my head for the past twenty-six days, since my aunt died. Each day my thoughts have grown and developed and on some occasions caused floods of tears to crash over me.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUepiBVkUwMw3mck-2g7qiULV0RWs0U6JTOiXCtK448BfGqBDzEEdnCsY1I5fpwisawDw798SBZgPBchzYARXLbBOkM-oqifnHrN5-YFcwzx7olvSJt5TUiY2jliip3B5cCNbUwIs_DkoK/s1600/IMG_0394.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUepiBVkUwMw3mck-2g7qiULV0RWs0U6JTOiXCtK448BfGqBDzEEdnCsY1I5fpwisawDw798SBZgPBchzYARXLbBOkM-oqifnHrN5-YFcwzx7olvSJt5TUiY2jliip3B5cCNbUwIs_DkoK/s200/IMG_0394.JPG" width="150" /></a><br />
My dear aunt, Marguerite Broyles, died on December 6, 2011. That hard fact crushes my heart every time I acknowledge it. Today the fact that we've started a new year and she isn't in seems unbelievably daunting.<br />
<br />
On the other hand I'm am so grateful to have had a wonderful relationship with her and countless memories of joy and love. While her cancer was brutal, it provided an opportunity for me to spend more time with her over the last two and a half years than I would have otherwise. We did yoga and energy work, had pedicures, ate yummy lunches, read poetry, laughed, cried, and spent many hours exploring the meaning of it all. She was also able to get to know my boys even better and inspire and foster their own creativity.<br />
<br />
In October we had a little send off party for her as she ended her cancer treatments and headed off to get the most out of the time she had left. Along with laughing, eating, wearing sparkly bracelets and bindis, we wrote her a note on sweet little scrolls my stellar shopper cousin discovered. It was hard to get started, knowing it might be the last thing I ever wrote to her.<br />
<br />
I laughed at myself as I realized all the memories I was writing were about food...a giant (to my little girl eyes) wooden bowl full of cherries in her kitchen, summertime Coke Slurpies on the way to lake in the huge Pontiac Bonneville I would later drive as a teenager, crusty bread and chunk of Jarlsberg cheese, Christmas Eve shrimp (in my pre-vegetarian days), and biscuits and egg gravy on Christmas mornings, yum!<br />
<br />
When just over a month later we realized she was in her last days, I was so fortunate (thanks Mom!) to be able to spend a few days with her holding her hand, chanting to her, giving her Jin Shin treatments and just being with her. I was also blessed to spend those days with my dear cousins, my other fabulous Aunt and Uncle, and playing princess and doing "crafts" with her darling granddaughter, Madi.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_UnjCSyyXYnA7_HOmd8NrWVKNgrpZZD5OjQyRkNfF5qbKxJNyWFTDJquOMP1GUQs83wOEKEViKbvcnbfO7Dyskec9ktGJdifmMyRqoQn00uhO1842cpZBpiqRCq-bw0KgCQLca5ZxOZrc/s1600/IMG_1112.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_UnjCSyyXYnA7_HOmd8NrWVKNgrpZZD5OjQyRkNfF5qbKxJNyWFTDJquOMP1GUQs83wOEKEViKbvcnbfO7Dyskec9ktGJdifmMyRqoQn00uhO1842cpZBpiqRCq-bw0KgCQLca5ZxOZrc/s200/IMG_1112.JPG" width="148" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
After returning home we decorated for Christmas and the many holiday gifts she had given us over the years flowed out of our storage boxes. My aunt was a gifted artist and had a knack for finding or creating fabulous holiday decorations of which I was so often the benefactor. It was lovely putting them out, honoring her gift with each placement.<br />
<br />
The kicker came this weekend as I began taking down the decorations. It was as if I was saying goodbye with each item I packed away, a task for which I was not prepared. Talk about an opportunity to practice letting go!!<br />
<br />
I'd been in an emotional fog for the past few weeks, having noticed Christmas Eve that it had lifted when I hadn't even really known it was there in the first place. I just knew I could only process a day or two at a time, so planning for holiday gatherings was a bit of a challenge.<br />
<br />
The process of packing away each item, each little piece of her, allowed me to truly grieve and release so many of those tears that had been waiting around for me to notice them. I was both heartbroken and full of gratitude, knowing that each year all of those pieces of her will return to our home surrounding us in her light and beauty. <br />
<br />
Now, as I walk around my house I continue to see her everywhere, in places I hadn't noticed in awhile. The little driftwood house on the mantel made from her beloved beach in Puerto Morales. The metal and rock person sitting above the desk from her scrounging through hardware store days. The quote on the bathroom wall - "Go in the direction of your dreams, the universe will support you." The countless beaded necklaces and bracelets she made me for my birthdays over the years. The art she made from a silly conversation with my boys this fall, "Peace, it's what's for dinner," and "Got Peace?" And finally the Colorado key chain she made in the 1980's that I touch and carry with me every day. Her diverse and boundless creative inspiration has decorated my life.<br />
<br />
In the hospital one day during her battle with the ovarian cancer, that finally took her life but ironically gave me many wonderful hours with her, she asked me why everyone kept coming to see her. She was truly astonished that she meant so much to so many. I told her, "It's because you accept us all as we are, unconditionally."<br />
<br />
She was that person for so many of us. The one whose face lights up when she sees you, has nothing but good things to say about you, is always interested in and excited about what you are doing, and who never doubts that your dreams can come true. She had her many flaws as all of us do, but she was perfectly herself and we couldn't ask for anything more. We all need that person in our lives who gives us the gift of loving us for our true authentic selves. I am honored and grateful and blessed to have had her as my adventurous, creative, smiling, laughing, dancing, singing, amazing aunt. <br />
<br />
I am saying goodbye to her body, but not to her spirit. It lives on through her beautiful art and through each of us. May we pass that grace on to others in our lives, offering a shining light to them.<br />
<br />
With gratitude and love, Namaste my dear Aunt Mag.Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-77501371819425546892011-11-20T14:28:00.000-07:002013-09-10T19:59:45.563-06:00Little Bars of BlissStepped into Starbucks after my successful tv interview for my fav vanilla soy latte when to my unexpected delight a cranberry bliss bar practically levitated in the case calling my name.
I love cranberry bliss bars!!!
...but had no idea they were in season yet.
Oh, the wonders of sweet, creamy, crunchy, white chocolately bliss bars. Yum!
Love when the universe sneaks in those little wonders. Perfect moment of bliss indeed :)Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-89882235698324075152011-11-18T14:28:00.001-07:002011-11-18T14:51:16.707-07:00Preventing Sexual AbuseBeing the mom of two young boys and having previously been employed as a child protection caseworker on team specializing in cases of sexual abuse has led the prevention and reporting of sexual abuse to a hot button issue for me. Consequently, I, along with millions of others, was saddened and sickened by the news of the sexual abuse perpetrated at Penn State by a man claiming to be an advocate for at-risk children.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, I had the opportunity to address this issue with 9News anchor TaRhonda Thomas and on the Mile High Mamas website yesterday. My hope is that this information will help parents, caregivers, and ordinary citizens become more vigilant about talking with, protecting, and standing up for children to provide a safer world for them. <a href="http://www.9news.com/moms/article/230257/499/How-do-I-talk-to-my-children-about-sexual-abuse" target="_blank">Click here</a> to watch the clip and <a href="http://www.milehighmamas.com/2011/11/17/mama-drama-preventing-sexual-abuse/" target="_blank">here</a> to read the column.<br />
<br />
NamasteLaughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-37519593160913686222011-11-04T12:12:00.000-06:002011-11-04T12:12:51.885-06:00Foiling the Halloween Candy FrenzyI've been reflecting this week on the lack of frenzy happening around the boys' Halloween candy. I've decided that consistency in limit setting might be the key - either that or they've been taken over by aliens, but then I don't get to take any credit. ;)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw2h_CqHqegtxJjh7i9pd_cv5u9iHu2peWwVr9rp42UR7_R2fHQmUJ9QfW6HlmZUZna8OtC-SkaEaRwKJoDdl3wWefC22KUU42RzB0g4d2ZmsStUeC42QorGBgMH1YIbbxQUCjPEVXhJGK/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw2h_CqHqegtxJjh7i9pd_cv5u9iHu2peWwVr9rp42UR7_R2fHQmUJ9QfW6HlmZUZna8OtC-SkaEaRwKJoDdl3wWefC22KUU42RzB0g4d2ZmsStUeC42QorGBgMH1YIbbxQUCjPEVXhJGK/s200/photo.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
Typically, on Halloween night the boys sort their loot, trade allergy for allergy free items, eat one piece and head off to bed with little to no fussing about wanting more. In the following days we let them have a piece in their lunch box and after school or dinner. After awhile the candy gets moved out of the way as we straighten up and decorate for the holidays and then we usually forget about most of it.<br />
<br />
On the weekends they probably have another piece or two during the day and I've found evidence of sneaking on occasion, but for the most part they stick with the plan because we stick with the plan.<br />
<br />
We don't say none and we don't say gorge yourself, we practice moderation. Not too much, not too little, just enough. We are usually pretty consistent, certainly not perfect, about this practice when it comes to treats and sweets throughout the year. Consequently, they know what to expect when the big sugar feast arrives in October.<br />
<br />
My boys may read this when they are adults and have a completely different view of it than I do - "Mom was sooooo stingy with the candy, OMG!!" - but I hope the practice of moderation will be such a part of them that they will see it from the same perspective. However, if the aliens really have taken them over then I'll be in for quite a shock when they depart - unless I can train them as well. ;)<br />
<br />
How do you handle the frenzy?<br />
<br />
NamasteLaughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-32840071146044722442011-10-22T21:41:00.001-06:002011-10-22T21:41:03.237-06:00Finding the Lessons OfferedA teaching from Pema Chodron has been rumbling around in my head and conversations over the past few days. It says, to paraphrase, that if we are somewhere we think we don't want to be, there must be lessons there we haven't learned yet. This teaching helps me when I'm feeling stuck, but certainly frustrates me when I really want out, now! <br />
<br />
It's been on my mind because I've been using it with walkingstick in regards to his soccer team. Walkingstick is a natural athlete who picks up new sports skills quite easily and invests a great deal of energy into learning the rules and skills of any sport he tries. He is also very competitive, strives to do his best, and wants to win. Having never played soccer before, we put him in a rec league thinking it would be a good place to learn some skills and have some fun. Perhaps it was a good idea, but not with this unfortunate team.<br />
<br />
To put it bluntly, the team he plays on does not have a chance of winning any game, EVER! Thus, fun has been hard to come by for our very competitive boy. As I discussed the fiasco with my dear friend yesterday we decided this is a perfect storm of kids with limited abilities, even more limited investment in the game, and a coach who means well but can't seem to find the spark to unite and motivate this team.<br />
<br />
On several occasions walkingstick has wanted to throw in the towel and quit the team - and I totally understand. He's frustrated on so many levels it would take a dozen blogs to cover them. I've empathized and strategized with him and given him space to vent. Then, I've guided him to find the lessons available to him in this difficult situation.<br />
<br />
One of the most important lessons we've discovered is that he has to set aside his original goal of winning. By letting go of this expectation he is less frustrated when they continually lose...by huge amounts. It also gives him a little glimpse into noticing that there can be fun in the journey, not just the outcome. <br />
<br />
He's shifted his focus to learning what he can from this coach, observing his opponents to find new skills, and enjoying the endless running - which is one of the things he loves most about soccer.<br />
<br />
He's also learned that he can be compassionate towards kids who don't have his athletic ease and enjoy who they are rather than what they can do.<br />
<br />
Pretty big lessons for an eleven-year-old.<br />
<br />
When he looks back at this experience in the years to come I hope he will see his growth, perseverance, and courage in the face of adversity. It's not easy for any of us to hang in there when the going gets tough, but remembering that there is something to learn from every challenge can help to shift our perspective and bring optimism and openness to how we face it. <br />
<br />
Take a moment to look at your own challenges...can you change your perspective and see what lessons you are being offered?<br />
<br />
NamasteLaughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-56990666626637554772011-09-15T22:16:00.002-06:002013-09-10T19:58:06.123-06:00Lightness into Darkness into LightnessI had the pleasure this evening of practicing yoga with and listening to the teachings of Yogi Amrit Desai, Gurudev. As he spoke I frequently thought of my boys and how I can live my life in way that will impart some of these teachings to them.<br />
<br />
As Gurudev spoke this evening he reminded us that light wouldn't be light without darkness and vice versa. He noted that light and dark do not fight and resist at sunrise and sunset, they simple shift from one to the other.<br />
<br />
Within ourselves we fight darkness, our fears and weaknesses, by judging, comparing, and belittling ourselves - fighting darkness with more darkness. Instead we need to release our fears and be in the darkness in order to let in the light through our breath and being present in our bodies fully accepting where we are without judgment. When we practice this on the mat, we can take it out into the world.<br />
<br />
I find that we often fight against being where we are by wanting to have more, be different, feel better, etc. Gurudev taught tonight that the more we seek and grasp, the less we are connected to ourselves.<br />
<br />
As they continue to grow and face the ups and downs of life, I hope to support my boys in being where they are as they are, trusting in themselves, listening to their inner voice, and staying connected with their true selves. The best way I can do this is to honor them where they are in each moment and to practice honoring myself as well. Easier said than done many days. :)<br />
<br />
These teachings reminded me of the quote from the Buddha which has been in the forefront of my mind recently, "Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is an ancient and eternal truth." To paraphrase this in the teachings of Gurudev tonight, darkness never ceases by darkness, but by light alone is healed. <br />
<br />
Be where you are, accept the darkness and open to the light.<br />
NamasteLaughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-57451295177148205422011-09-11T21:43:00.000-06:002011-09-11T21:43:19.589-06:00Gifts of HopeI have been surprised by my reactions to this tenth anniversary of 9-11. Today I burst into tears looking at the picture of the three fireman hoisting the American flag at ground zero. I am amazed at how raw and overwhelming my emotions are...and I'm much farther removed from it than the people who lost loved ones or were part of the rescue efforts.<br />
<br />
It has been important to me this week to talk with the boys about the events of that day. I wrote a <a href="http://www.milehighmamas.com/2011/09/08/talking-with-kids-about-9-11-lessons-in-compassion/">column</a> on how to do just that and had the opportunity to share that on <a href="http://denver.cbslocal.com/2011/09/09/helping-children-cope-with-911/">CBS4</a> as well.<br />
<br />
As we talked together as a family, I found it hard to convey more than just the facts. Walkingstick asked where I was that day. I told him my story and explained how unreal it all seemed. How it wasn't just that moment, but that it went on for days and weeks as we watched the news, heard the stories, and mourned as a nation.<br />
<br />
Each time I tried to talk about my personal experience, my eyes welled up and I could hardly speak. I tried to maintain my composure as they both seemed unnerved by my grief at something they don't really understand. In order to keep moving forward, we do not always understand how deeply these events have affected us. <br />
<br />
Then Gigglebox noted, having been born that following summer, that he was "a gift of hope" after 9-11. He was exactly that. Conceived shortly after the attacks, his presence changed our lives and brought hope in ways we could never have imagined. How does he know that at the age of nine? He truly amazes me. <br />
<br />
Today I want to honor the courage, compassion, and generosity of the millions of people who were affected by the events of 9-11. Their responses are also gifts of hope that remind us of the inherent good in people and give us hope for the future.<br />
<br />
Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. We are all one, Peace, Peace, Peace.<br />
NamasteLaughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-70856608057062107802011-04-25T07:00:00.001-06:002011-04-25T07:00:01.787-06:00Perfect Moment Monday: Finding BlissI've been reading <i>Fire of Love</i> which has beautiful direction for yoga teachers to add a deeper level into teaching. I have found it inspiring and added one aspect to my class Saturday morning with lovely results.<br />
<br />
After our <i>pranayama</i> (breathwork) practice I asked my students to place the fingers of their right hand at their heart center and turn inward finding their inner smile. Once connected, I instructed them to allow the sense of joy to radiate through their chest and upward to their faces. <br />
<br />
After a few breaths I peeked my eyes open and scanned the room. Every student had the most lovely, relaxed, blissful smile upon their face. Mine radiated even bigger, both inside and on my face, seeing how this small gesture brought peace and <i>ananda</i> (bliss) to my students with such ease. <br />
<br />
Try it yourself ~ find your inner smile and little moment of bliss.<br />
<br />
<i>Namaste </i>Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-76326182191559895722011-04-10T21:23:00.000-06:002011-04-10T21:23:20.182-06:00Gratitude for the simple thingsAfter more than a week of being in the hospital my aunt is getting a bit tired of the cuisine. You can only eat so many servings of mashed potatoes and al dente does not seem to be an option in vegetables.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPxWmRomENMcsiz74frObB9NM7EMEIlgIKmVpJn_z2okQH1yagviUw8LcHykFN0r81Yssto8cRksX1LCEKwwS4ohJuwSfM1Im7C4sKyZypNRpUjqNTs3ZHHHziKvS8wsGzZ3c7QSJaBK8q/s1600/yum.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPxWmRomENMcsiz74frObB9NM7EMEIlgIKmVpJn_z2okQH1yagviUw8LcHykFN0r81Yssto8cRksX1LCEKwwS4ohJuwSfM1Im7C4sKyZypNRpUjqNTs3ZHHHziKvS8wsGzZ3c7QSJaBK8q/s200/yum.JPG" width="200" /></a>So, as I was heading for a visit this afternoon and stopped at Target to see what I could scrounge up. Bread and cheese are an absolute favorite of hers, so that's what I went for. The bread was not as crusty as I'd like and I had to settle for Havarti instead of Jarlsburg, but by the look on my aunt's face it definitely hit the spot. =)<br />
<br />
We had lots of laughs and a lovely talk from the basics of medical issues to the meaning of life. Wonderful! If we had the time we could talk for days on end.<br />
<br />
I came home to boys nearly ready for bed and tired husband. He'd made fabulous enchiladas which I promptly gobbled up. Walkingstick climbed behind me and sweetly rubbed my back and shoulders then we all read a chapter of the hilarious book we are reading - <i>Another Whole Nother Story</i> - and yes it's as absurd and delightful as it sounds.<br />
<br />
The small comforts of life...good food and time spent together. So much to be grateful for.Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-1267976079882387652011-04-09T13:45:00.000-06:002011-04-09T13:45:37.653-06:00Expectations<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhS0cG92J_9S4QG9iqCSD1c27H904oybA9_Cvbefv6hedCF9FOs3MGpkd6swLnD5P1WOD-favHdzlM7UVC_jrB327CKHndsBns8zjMPn2aUk5rUxi4p3niRLANcL_eDzgfR4db4eEYx5CN/s1600/meditation+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhS0cG92J_9S4QG9iqCSD1c27H904oybA9_Cvbefv6hedCF9FOs3MGpkd6swLnD5P1WOD-favHdzlM7UVC_jrB327CKHndsBns8zjMPn2aUk5rUxi4p3niRLANcL_eDzgfR4db4eEYx5CN/s1600/meditation+pic.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/1676300378/">(photo credit)</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Expectations can get us into hot water quickly. When we expect someone to behave in a certain manner and they don't, we feel confused, disappointed, and often hurt. Even when the change in behavior is positive, the unexpected divergence from the norm can throw us off. <br />
<br />
I begin each of my yoga classes with a moment of brushing away our worries and expectations. I began to wonder today what expectations my yoga students may hold onto, what ones I hold onto, and how this impacts our experiences. Each class I teach evolves on its own as I integrate ideas I bring with the needs expressed by my students. For me it is a lovely dance of balance, trust, and inspiration. I can only offer who I am, I have no control over (nor any desire to have) how anyone incorporates what I say and do into their lives.<br />
<br />
There is a strange dichotomy in my life related to this. In yoga I simply offer the class for people to take whatever they need with no strings attached. But in my parenting and the trainings I offer as a school social worker, I expect my children and my staff to take away what I am specifically teaching them.<br />
<br />
When I offer what I have without being attached to the outcome as in yoga, I feel at peace. When those offerings are made with attachment to the outcome, I so often feel frustrated and discouraged.<br />
<br />
Hmmmmm...<br />
<br />
Can I parent and teach in other realms as I do in yoga? Practicing <i>aparigraha</i>, non-attachment, non-clinging, allowing my children and staff to take what they need without being attached to the outcome. Honoring where they are rather than expecting them to be somewhere they are not. Allowing them to integrate the information as it makes sense for them.<br />
<br />
I read weekly from Pema Chodron's S<i>tart Where You Are</i> during mediation class and have just realized while writing this that I have compartmentalized the teaching of that title to my yoga life and forgotten to carry it into the rest of my life. Yoga is more than our time on the mat, it is how we live our lives united our minds and bodies, being present and honoring where we are and others are at any given moment. <br />
<br />
<br />
So with gentleness and lovingkindness, as I always tell my students, I notice this. I will strive to keep it in the forefront of my perceptions, being more aware of my expectations and how they impact my interactions and reactions. May you as well.<br />
<br />
NamasteLaughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-38896183613109297302011-04-05T12:55:00.000-06:002011-04-05T12:55:02.462-06:00Perfect Moment Monday: Hospital HumorI took Walkingstick and Gigglebox to visit my aunt yesterday in the hospital as she recovers from brain surgery and continues her epic journey through ovarian cancer and its many incarnations in her body. <br />
<br />
My aunt lit up upon seeing the boys and we all hugged and giggled together. We talked a little about the day and the next steps she was expecting. Then Walkingstick stepped up to the bed with a sly grin on his face. "A pan of muffins was in the oven," he began. "One muffin turned to the other and said, 'It sure is hot in here.' The other muffin turned and screamed, "Ahhh! A talking muffin!'"<br />
<br />
We all busted up laughing at his silly eleven-year-old joke. His eyes twinkled with the thrill of making her, and the rest of us, laugh. Mine twinkled with the wonder of my sweet boy and his ability to bring joy and humor into this surreal and difficult situation.<br />
<br />
His humor allowed us to be fully present in that moment. Not sick, worried, exhausted...just family loving and being there for each other in one perfect moment. Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-68603804607916310882011-04-02T21:06:00.000-06:002011-04-02T21:06:08.823-06:00Facing ChallengesIt's amazing how we all handle the challenges life throws at us in different ways. For the most part I am constantly amazed at the strength and perseverence I am honored to witness from the people in my life. <br />
<br />
My dear aunt was thrown another curve ball in her journey through ovarian cancer. Her doctors unexpectedly diagnosed her with three brain tumors and whooshed her off for brain surgery the next day. In the brief in between time she said to me, "I guess I have another lesson to learn." An unbelievably optimistic and courageous response in the face of such daunting news. I suggested neon signs were a more effective means of communicating what we need to learn, but the universe apparently thought otherwise.<br />
<br />
The thing about her perspective is that is a good reminder that we all have lessons to learn in this process. We also have choices about how we will respond to this new challenge before us. Choices about how we support her and each other, whether we hold hope or give up, whether we view the struggle as part of the journey or as an unbearable burden, and whether we remember to treasure each moment with the ones we love valuing them for who they truly are or buy into the roles and stories we have created for ourselves and each other. Our responses impact how we will come through this crisis as well as how she will.<br />
<br />
Sharing all of this with my sons has been both difficult and beautiful. Telling them what was happening seemed brutal and scary when everything was so up in the air. Yet they responded with tears and hope and an immediate desire to see her and support her. They have been able to go on with their days while still offering love, support, and understanding to each other and to me when one of us was struggling. They have shown me that they can be as strong and courageous in the face of adversity as my dear aunt has been.<br />
<br />
For everyone facing adversity, no matter how big or small:<br />
May you be safe.<br />
May you be happy.<br />
May you be healthy.<br />
May you have peace.<br />
May you awaken to the light of their true nature.<br />
May you be free.<br />
<br />
Namaste<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-81512336509490135932011-02-19T17:17:00.000-07:002011-02-19T17:17:13.925-07:00StealingStealing is one of those things I have always thought of as clear cut and simple. Then, this week Michelle used <i>Asteya </i>- sanskrit for non-stealing - as our meditation focus. One of the affirmations she shared related to <i>asteya</i> was "I am whole and complete." As I contemplated this, I realized that stealing does not always related to a concrete item being taken.<br />
<br />
We steal confidence from ourselves when we call ourselves stupid, judge ourselves harshly, or decide something about us is not good enough. When we dissect ourselves, accepting only what we see as good or attractive, we cannot be whole and complete. When we rely on others to provide approval for who we are, we steal from our sense of self-worth. We all have strengths and weaknesses and together they make us who we are. <br />
<br />
As parents we unwittingly steal from our children when we fail to acknowledge the many things they do well and criticize their mistakes too harshly. We teach them to steal confidence from themselves as well by creating those negative messages that live in their minds and hearts.<br />
<br />
Of course we will be critical and will need to redirect, reteach, and determine consequences for negative behavior at times. But when I look through the lens of <i>asteya</i>, I am encouraged even more to take those extra seconds to think about my words with care, to keep mistakes in perspective, and to acknowledge and apologize when I am wrong. <br />
<br />
I want my children to lift up themselves and those with whom they interact. Therefore, I must model this for them at every opportunity. Whether it is showing gentleness with myself, with them, or with others, modeling lovingkindness and understanding teaches them not to steal someone else's confidence and self-worth as well as to value and nurture their own.<br />
<br />
May we all awaken to the light of our true nature, fill our hearts with lovingkindness for ourselves, and spread it in all that we do.<br />
NamasteLaughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-16059388832058230392011-01-27T21:08:00.000-07:002011-01-27T21:08:10.353-07:00Life Lessons<style>
@font-face {
font-family: "Cambria";
}p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">The opportunity to learn and grow is ever present in our lives. From miniscule to massive, joy to pain, health to illness, life lessons abound. <span> </span>The opportunity to learn and grow is ever present. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Gigglebox recently had a lovely opportunity presented to him with so many lessons available in the process – honesty, patience, responsibility, kindness, and gratitude to name a few. He had received a long coveted iPod for Christmas and had been very thoughtful about keeping track of it (they are sooooo tiny now) and using it appropriately. Then last week at school he put it in his pocket with a bit of haste and it ended up falling out unbeknownst to him at the time. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Later in the day he noticed it was missing. He searched his classroom, backpack, and locker to no avail. Within a short time of coming home, Gigglebox told me he had lost his iPod. We problem solved a bit about where it could be and how he might find it, but also discussed that there was a chance he wouldn’t. He was very sad and I was sad for him. I was also frustrated, but working hard to keep my compassion out ahead of that. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As it was Friday afternoon he was going to have to wait the entire weekend before he could look for it again at school. This was difficult. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He was also charged with telling his dad, who bought the iPod for him, that he had lost it. This was also difficult. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A bit later in the evening I realized that I had totally forgotten to acknowledge the courage it took for him to be honest and tell me right away about the missing iPod. When I praised him for this he beamed with pride and shared how much he had really not wanted to tell me. Honesty.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Gigglebox was very patient throughout the weekend, not fussing when his brother was using his own iPod and not asking to use anyone else’s. He was patient on Monday when the gym at his school (where it most likely fell out of his pocket) was not accessible. He was patient on Tuesday when he again could not get into the gym. Then at last on Wednesday he was there. Patience.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Kindness. This lesson came from his teachers. First a teacher saw it on the floor that Friday afternoon and put it into the lost and found box in the gym. Then another teacher who had seen him with the iPod on the day he lost it recognized it as his and put it in her desk for safekeeping. She returned it to him when he came to class and he was quite relieved to say the least. He told her how much he appreciated her kindness and asked her to also tell the other teacher thank you. Gratitude.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He made a plan to make sure in the future the iPod was attached to him instead of stuffed somewhere.<span> </span>Responsibility. He also decided not to take it with him on a field trip. Great learning!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">While there were many lessons for my little Gigglebox on this journey, the lessons were clearly there for the rest of us as well.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The opportunity to learn and grow is ever present.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Namaste</div>Laughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-14035683353619986602010-12-09T21:52:00.000-07:002013-09-10T20:03:26.399-06:00None of us get out of it aliveThis is a quote from my aunt today, "None of us get out of it alive." What is <i>it</i>, you may ask? Life. Oh, the irreverence!!! And the laughter that followed.<br />
<br />
We will all die at some point, we just don't know when that will be. The question then arises ~ how do we live each day fully while still acknowledging our mortality and the fact that we could die at any time?<br />
<br />
My aunt and I struggled with this question today as we discussed her cancer prognosis. It seems to be a paradox, but it reminds me of the yogic teachings of non-clinging, <i>aparigraha. </i>Accepting what is without holding on. Being present without trying to control the outcome of our actions. <br />
<br />
I had a visual image of walking a line and leaning from to the left, then right; moving from light to dark; from hopeful to hopeless. Then more irreverence..."weebles wobble, but they don't fall down." We all wobble along that line every day, although sometimes we dip too far into one side or the other, drowning in denial or darkness.<br />
<br />
As I think about my life, I am reminded that truly all I have is this moment. Nothing else is guaranteed. Whether the moment is full of laughter and joy, pain and sorrow, or something in between, this moment is the only one I have. It can be difficult to stay present when I'm tired, frustrated, and at the end of my rope. It's easy to escape into drama, self-pity, or blaming others.<br />
<br />
But what can I teach my children by practicing staying present, being in the moment, recognizing when to let things go? I can teach them trust, acceptance, and love. My daily struggles and successes as a mom and human being can be lessons for them and me.<br />
<br />
I can teach them to honor and savor each moment, to rejoice in what they have, to know that they are loved, and that their love and lives make a difference to others.<br />
<br />
It often takes the reality of loss to help us cherish what we have because it is so hard to wobble along that line, feeling each moment fully. <br />
<br />
May this remind you (and me) to notice this moment and all that it has to offer, then with lovingkindness gently release it as we step into the next moment, should it be there. <br />
<br />
NamasteLaughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276936144980034502.post-37793709868508166872010-11-27T15:37:00.000-07:002010-11-27T15:39:00.849-07:00Truthfulness, Revisited<i>Satya</i>, truthfulness, has continued to be a theme in our lives throughout the fall. It seems to come up on a daily basis. <br />
<br />
I answered a <a href="http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/11/12/mama-drama-discipline-for-deceit/">Mama Drama</a> question a couple of weeks ago about lying. In the process I looked at current research and found some new perspectives to consider when supporting honesty with my children. There are two that had the biggest impact on me and have influenced my interactions with my children over the past couple of weeks, for the better I might add!<br />
<br />
The first is that our children's primary motivation for lying is to make us happy. Huh? you might ask yourself - I did the same. Children mistakenly believe their parents will be happier if they pretend they didn't do something wrong than if they tell the truth about their mistake. As parents we have to impress upon our children that telling the truth will make us happier than if they hadn't made the mistake. I have practiced this several times over the past few weeks when big issues have come up for my sons and have been stunned at its effectiveness. <br />
<br />
The second ah-ha in my research was how we often set our children up to lie through the questions we ask and the demeanor we use to deliver the question. Because they want to make us happy when we ask, "Did you...?" they immediately say no. As parents we think we want to give our kids a chance to come clean on their own without accusations, but sometimes we just have to call it like we see it. For example, last night I came downstairs to find the foil on the sweet potato pie pulled back and a finger print in the pie. I knew which child had the opportunity in the kitchen on their own, so went to address him.<br />
<br />
<br />
I calmly entered his room and stated, "You put your finger in the pie, right?" Without hesitation, surprisingly, he answered, "Yeeeessss, but it was soooo good!" I gushed appreciation for him telling me the truth right away and said we'd address any consequences about the pie in the morning. He was happy, I was happy, all was good, no lying. Practice was paying off.<br />
<br />
Previously, I might have asked my sons if they had done it in a stern tone. That usually led to a denial, even when the evidence was all over their faces.<br />
<br />
I have never wanted my children's behavior to be about making me happy. I always want them to feel happy internally about making the right choice. Given what the research states and my sons' responses, I believe I will have to make an exception in the case of lying.<br />
<br />
Parenting is always a journey of growth and self-reflection, <i>svadhyaya</i>. I am sure my dear boys will provide me with many opportunities to hone my skills and practice <i>tapas</i>, self-discipline, in managing my responses. I hope to return the favor with opportunities for them to practice <i>satya</i>, truthfulness, as often as possible.<br />
<br />
NamasteLaughing Yoga Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06862912388676240541noreply@blogger.com0